How free do I want to be?

Recently I have looked through million of my notebooks that I have, to see what I have achieved within the last several years. 

How my mindset has changed.

Are the same thoughts and dreams are tugging at my heart?

Am I being truthful to myself?

I kept coming to the same question that I wrote, "How free do I want to be?"

My answer still stands the same. I still believe that the world depends upon small beatings of my heart. 

Because every single one of us are meant to be here. It is not an accident that we are alive. All of us have a purpose.

I have a purpose and now I feel it ever stronger than five years ago. Thankful to my journaling and all my scribbles, it allowed me to see how much I have grown.

Five reasons to journal:

  1. I found that I am the happiest when I journal. When I had bad days/weeks I didn't write. My mind was a mess. I couldn't see clear. Reading it back allows me to make future decisions based on my pasted happy moments. It's like having a younger version of Vesta show up and remind me not to repeat the same mistakes.

  2. I see my emotional and spiritual growth. Right here on the paper. It's a HUGE encouragement to keep on improving and try to become the best version of myself.

  3. People come and go. I learned from most of those relationships. Also, I have recognized who does not belong in my life and who really loves just the way I am. It tough me how to value my dearest friends 

  4. The most important decisions were made in these journals. Most are not definitive, but I can see my though process. Starts with confusion, sometimes holding back for certain reasons. Other times I argue with myself, try to find excuse to not to get out of my comfort zone. I can track all my good and hard decisions to journaling.

  5. I gave myself a permission to succeed. It started expressing myself 'quietly' in a journal about what and who I want to be. What I want to achieve. Over the years it became louder and I actually started seeing results. I made myself belief that I am worthy. So how free do I want to be? Freedom in my mind allows me to achieve anything I want.
    Some of my journals are pretty. Others are leftovers from kids school. But all of them are filled with my dreams that are becoming true. When you open the blank page, do you start writing right away or do you feel stuck?

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